I arrived in Ottawa
in October 2000. I had been half a year in Canada. By 2004 I was still
not a citizen, and still not feeling at home. I had a constant feeling
of alienation, of not belonging, not finding my place. My citizenship
application lied on the desk for one year before I blew the dust off
it and applied. Immigrant friends told me I should expect to swear the
oath within five months. Instead, within almost a year, I received a
letter requesting my fingerprints, as I, or someone with my name, has
done something bad somewhere under the sun.
I was devastated. I
broke down in tears, crying: Canada doesn’t want me.
I went to a Family
Constellation weekend. I had been introduced to the Family
Bert Hellinger’s systemic therapy by my dog’s vet, an extraordinary
animal and people healer. He introduced this work to Ottawa, holding
group therapy sessions every last Friday of each month. I had already
seen results from this work, pure Soul healing that moves beyond words
or beyond the explainable.
This time the weekend
was a special weekend, with a seasoned Hellinger therapist from Germany
as presenting guest. The group was large, and many participants,
including myself, were eager to do some personal healing work. Reading
Bert Hellinger’s books helped me get an understanding of systems and how
systemic healing works. I understood that I am part of many systems: my
family, my workplace, my nation, my circle of friends – and many more
systems. Each of the countries where I lived also formed a system. And
if there is any imbalance at the systemic level, it impacts all the
So I opened a family
constellation representing the countries where I lived. During the
constellation, almost all the participants stood up and circled around
me, representing my new compatriots: my Canadian friends. They embraced
me and told me “Welcome home” while tears were rolling down my cheeks
Within two weeks from
this constellation, I received a letter in my mail, inviting me to
become a Canadian citizen. My Canadian friends celebrated with me with
music, dance and goodies at my home - my Canadian home.
Since then I have
used the Family Constellations in my private practice, here and
overseas, often with impressive results. A son lost somewhere in Europe
calls home after his mother opens a constellation; a relationship
between spouses changes; small and big, the changes reflect a change in
the soul of the constellation.
You are part of many systems: your family of
origin, your current family, your workplace, congregation, circle of
friends, etc. When the flow of Love is, for whatever reason, disrupted
in the system, it creates imbalance that finds expression in conflict,
illness, poverty and dysfunction.
A family constellations process reveals the
'problem' that disrupts and denies Love's own order and flow. Most
often, order and flow is re-established during the constellation
process. The change affects change in the 'real' system of the
participant. The other members of the system are affected too,
regardless whether they are present or not, alive or not.
The Family Constellations work is introduced and
inspired by Bert Hellinger, a therapist from Germany.
Sessions are available both private and group.
"Empty-handed I entered the world
Barefoot I leave
My coming, my